Curate Conundrums

  I’ve nearly died twice. One time I can remember, the other time I can’t. Our reading today from Hebrews is all about death and what God does with it. And today we celebrate the presentation of Christ in the temple or Candlemas. It’s an important day, and I’ll explain a bit more later, but our readings are linked. Candlemas, That’s about death too, but also about light, life, unexpected joy and promises. When I say I’ve almost died twice, I don’t mean dying as in ‘I had a hangover and I felt like I was going to die’, or ‘I was so embarrassed I felt like I wanted to die.’ Because if that was the case, I would have hundreds of ‘near death’ experiences. No, I mean literal, near death experiences. The one I can’t remember was when I was about five or six years old. Some tree surgeons were cutting down a tree at the house opposite our house, so naturally, I wandered across the road to go and have a look at what they were doing. We lived on a quiet suburban road. And I was an an...

  I love food, don’t you? I love flavour and texture and colour. I love the things I know, the old comforts. I like to try new things sometimes. But I do have a confession to make. I am addicted to Roast Chicken. There’s just something about it, hot roast chicken, straight from the oven. Roasted with garlic and rosemary, salted and crispy, it’s finger lickin’ good. I can’t put it down! An almost animalistic hunger comes over me as I tare through it. If it weren’t so socially unacceptable I’d probably jump up onto the table, in a cat like pounce and rip through it with my bare hands. I’d love to be a vegetarian, I don’t like eating animals, and I realise it’s entirely down to my own weakness, and cravings and fragility that I’m not. I’ve eaten some fantastic vegan and vegetarian food, I’m trying to cut back on the amount of meat I eat, but the chicken, like a drug addict it gets round to Sunday lunchtime and I need my fix. So I relate to the Israelites in our reading today. ...

Where does it all go? Where? Where does what go, I hear you ask? The money. Where does all the money go? No I haven’t stolen it… What bags, there are no bags in my car… Certainly not now… Look that money was just resting in my account… Is this a question you’ve ever asked yourself? Where does the money go? Where’s it gone? Hands up if you’ve asked yourself this? Have you ever looked at your bank balance and gone *gasp*, oh no! No how has that happened. Lockdown was ludicrous wasn’t it? One of the strangest things about it for me was that even though I hadn’t been anywhere or done anything, still I was spending money! Where has it all gone? I thought. Anybody else feel like that? For me it was probably going on stuff like takeaways and stuff to make me feel better about myself. I mean those ruby encrusted high heels really gave me a confidence boost. Though as we probably know when we face up to it, filling our homes with shiny things doesn’t make us feel better really. It doesn’t fill ...

At the end of our Gospel reading Jesus talks to his family. Now as we all know families can be… Complicated. He speaks about doing the will of God. You know my Mum came up to me the other day and said ‘Graham, can you help with the washing up?’ ‘Alas mother’ I replied ‘I cannot, for you see, I have prayed upon this very subject, and it is not the will of God that I should help you with the washing up. These hands were made for lifting chalices, not dishes.’ Of course, that never happened, I would never talk to my mother in that way. But it’s an important point. What’s the will of God? What does Jesus mean? The scribes are getting it all wrong. They know the law, they’ve read lots of books, but their hearts are in the wrong place. The reason why there’s such a big crowd around Jesus is because he’s been going around healing people, doing good stuff, helping the poor and the outcast. You know all the usual stuff that would get you called ‘woke’ nowadays. It’s funny that the people who of...

  I’ve always been a bit of a sensitive soul. I love spending time with people. I love seeing my friends, one of the things that drew me most into ordained ministry was the community side of it. Being with people in their time of need, in their joys and their sorrows. The worst part of any relationship for me is saying goodbye. I’ve always hated saying goodbye. Often when I leave my friends or family, I have to go quickly, shoot off, and not say too much, because if I do I find myself starting to sob. When someone visits me from far away, I just can’t do the thing when you stand on the doorstep and wave them off, it upsets me too much.   When I was a boy, we used to go and visit my grandparents who lived near Whitby, and when it came to saying goodbye it was awful. I tell you it made the wailing and gnashing of teeth scenes from revelation look like a holiday picnic. I would get into the car and start crying because I didn’t want to go. Grandma would start because she didn...