Hedgehogs, Heralds and Hurt

 

I had a period of very bad mental health recently. 

We've all got mental health, but some of us have more than others! I had to take a couple of weeks off to regroup, I couldn't cope. I started crying often and felt overwhelmed. A sense of darkness that I'd never had before. I was hurting. 

It wasn't anything that anyone had done. I love our Parish and both our Churches, nobody was being nasty to me. In fact the outpouring of support and prayer from our parish when I shared how I was feeling was wonderful. My Team Rector too, his support has been invaluable, and others who know who they are have supported me and encouraged me. 

Stepping away was hard. That voice within said 'you're a failure, look at you, you can't even cope. Your job's not even that hard!' Of course that's not true. I know that, but it doesn't stop that sense in those of us who have a really destructive perfectionism that runs through them. 

I packed my bags and trundled over to West Norfolk to visit my Mum. She was determined to get me out of my 'funk', and nursed me while I sobbed and told her how I was feeling. 

"Right." she said standing up, slapping her legs in an assertive manner, like all good Brits, "we're going out." 

Holme Dunes was where we went. A place that feels thin. I inhaled the freshness, the waves lapped the shoreline softly on the pristine beach, and sighed relief. We gazed out on the causeway in beautiful sunshine, the churches distant yet visible across the flat landscape. Calm. 

Much of this beautiful place is cared for by the Norfolk Wildlife Trust. Many smaller sites dotted across this great county are completely free to walk around. They look after all sorts of habitat. But there were other things I noticed too. The crispy grass, the cracked ground, the baking heat. All of us have noticed it this year. 

As Christians we are meant to be stewards of creation.

Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.’

The earth is a gift that all of us must treasure. We depend upon it for everything. These amazing places are not just places of healing for us, but places that support life. Our dominion over things is a power that must be exercised responsibly, lovingly, just as God did in creation when She breathed life into every living thing.  

Fast forward to yesterday and I was watering my plants (with a watering can) at night. I looked up and suddenly there was a rustle, and a gruffly-snort. I never understood in horror films why people would go TOWARDS the noise that scare them, now I do, I was curious. What was it? Two Hedgehogs. 

I'd never seen one before (or heard them snort). I'd only seen the poor things flattened by the side of the road. They'd been attracted by the water I'd left out for animals to drink. 

Something struck me. How innocent they were. How wrong it is what we are doing to the earth. How countless innocent lives are being destroyed by our need for 'growth' and profit, and that God's kingdom doesn't look like the yellow cracked grass in my garden. 

I love places like Holme Dunes. I love Hedgehogs, and Seals and Coots and all the wildlife that this fantastic county has to offer. I've had so many encounters with God's peace in these places cared for by the Norfolk Wildlife Trust. I don't want them to be destroyed, it's too beautiful, too Godly, too holy even. It's too much a part of what it means to be from here. 

 That's why I've joined the Norfolk Wildlife Trust. So a little part of this Eden can be protected. I know it's small, but call it an act of protest. Thank you Norfolk Wildlife Trust for looking after these incredible places, so that all of us can live. So that we have places to breathe and go when all we can think of is tearing our hair out. So that others who are living in stress and anxiety can sup at that breath of God that breathes through these holy places, and breathes into each of us. 

If you'd like to you can join here for as little as £36 a year. 

Creation is wonderful, thanks be to God.